


“Forgive me. Not for my sake, for yours. Forgive me.”

by Kittycombs



Series: Tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (hopeful ending at any rate), Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, this could be an ot3 ending if you want?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 06:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycombs/pseuds/Kittycombs
Summary: He can feel many things in this moment.





	“Forgive me. Not for my sake, for yours. Forgive me.”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FromDreamstoEmpires](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromDreamstoEmpires/gifts).



> The darling Cas prompted this to me on my writing blog [here](kittycombswriting.tumblr.com)  
> I'll write just about anything, especially Star Wars, Game of Thrones, MCU, or Tolkien.

He can feel many things in this moment.

He can feel the heat of the planet. He can feel the heat of his anger. He can feel the pain in the Force of all the lives lost. He can feel the deep cut of Obi-Wan and Padme’s betrayal.

He can feel Obi-Wan and Padme on that ship, right now.

Damn them both.

Obi-Wan walks off the vessel first, looking more weary than he has ever seen.

He turns, looking directly at Obi-Wan, not saying a word.

Obi-Wan approaches him, stopping just close enough to touch.

Anakin wants to throttle him.

Anakin wants to collapse in his arms.

Anakin hates him.

Anakin loves him.

Anakin could never hate him.

Anakin has always loved him.

Vader thinks it's definitely for the best that Anakin is gone now.

Vader is just about to open his mouth, just about to gloat, when Obi-Wan falls to his knees before him.

“I have failed you, Anakin.”

“My name is Vader now.”

“Then I have truly failed you.”

“You have.”

Obi-Wan braces himself on his hands, breathing deeply and shudderingly. He's shaking. When he speaks, it's almost a laugh.

“I suppose that's my legacy, then. A padawan that failed his master. A mentor that failed his student. A general who failed his troops. A council member who failed his fellows.”

He lifts his head, just enough to look at Vader.

“A man. Who failed his friend.”

Vader says nothing, the part that is still Anakin screaming to fall next to Obi-Wan and drag his teacher into his arms.

“For what it may be worth, Anakin, I am sorry.”

“And what do you want me to do with your apology?” Vader spits. “You are fixing nothing. Why did you come here?”

Obi-Wan sits back on his heels, and gives the saddest smile that the Galaxy has ever seen. “Oh, Anakin. Don't you know by now? I will always come for you.”

Obi-Wan sighs, his whole being seeming to deflate, as he looks down at his own lap. “You are my brother, Anakin. I love you.”

There are hot tears running down Anakin’s - Vader’s - Ana -  _his_  face. The face of the body that this fractured mind inhabits. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“Forgive me. Not for my sake, for yours. Forgive me.”

Vader laughs. “You want me to absolve you of your guilt? You won't get off so easy, old man.”

“No. I’ve carried all my guilt with me my entire life, and I don't think that will stop now.” Obi-Wan shoves himself to his feet. “Forgive me so that you admit to yourself I was wrong. Because I was. I am. Forgive me so that you can move on. Forgive me so that you can let it go.”

Anakin launches forward and grabs Obi-Wan by his collar. “You always want me to let everything go!!”

Obi-Wan places his hands on either side of Anakin's face, impossibly tender, impossibly sad. “I only ever wanted you to let the bad things go. We all die eventually, Anakin. Worrying about your mother did not stop that fact. Worrying about your wife won't stop the fact that, one day, she will die. It's the natural order of things, Anakin. Life comes, and death to follow.” He strokes Anakin’s hair. “Being angry only festers like a wound and hurts you. It weighs you down like a weight on your back. Believe me, Anakin. I know.”

“You don't know anything!” Anakin screams, throat threatening to give out, shaking Obi-Wan. “You've never lost anything! You don't know!”

Obi-Wan slides his hands down to Anakin's wrists. “You forget, in your anger, that I sliced someone in half once. In  _my_  anger. I slaughtered him. Even with the fall, he could not have possibly died quickly. I wanted him to suffer.”

Obi-Wan’s fingers are like ice, even here, on a volcano planet.

“I was angry at you, Anakin. For a good long while. Because I was bitter. That Qui-Gon wanted you more than he ever wanted me.”

“Then how can you love me?” Anakin demands, wanting the old man to see his own hypocrisy.

“Because I let go of all of my anger at you, at Qui-Gon, at Maul. And instead I held all the memories you gave me close to my heart, even as I sometimes denied its existence. Every laugh, every smile, every quiet moment. Every time your face gave me the strength to go on. Ah, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, placing a hand on Anakin's face, tears in his eyes. “The only child I will ever have. The only love I have ever known. I would rather have died than seen you hurting. And I am so, so sorry.”

Anakin shoves away from him, shaking.

“If killing me will bring you peace, than I place my life in your hands.”

Anakin wants to yell, wants to scream, wants to rage and fight and kill.

All he can manage is a hoarse whisper. “They sent you to kill me.”

Obi-Wan nods. “They did. I can't. I never could. Anakin. This is not your only path. Perhaps Palpatine is using you. Perhaps he is not. I cannot claim to know his mind. Perhaps I have only stumbled and failed and let you down at every turn. But I do know my own mind, Anakin. I will not Fall with you. But I will gladly give you my hand to pull you back up.”

Something in Anakin...breaks, somehow. Tears are gushing down his face, he can't seem to breathe, everything is too hot, but….

For the first time in...a long time, Anakin feels, almost, calm. The world is literally burning down around them. Padme could very well still die in childbirth. Anakin has slaughtered younglings, facilitated the mass genocide of the Jedi Order, all but personally killed Mace Windu. And yet.

Obi-Wan walks hesitatingly towards him, arms lifted. “I would have left the Order for you, if you had asked.”

Anakin looks into Obi-Wan’s eyes for what feels like an eternity.

“It's too late, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan smiles. “It's only too late when you're dead.”

“Where will we go?”

“Well, I think Padme will be having the children soon. As for me? It's been a while since I've broken any rules-”

Anakin snorts. That's a filthy lie and they both know it.

“Jedi are now being classified as enemies of the Galactic Empire, so if I'm going to be an outlaw, I might as well make a fuss about it.”

“Really?”

“I had a teenage crisis, so I figure now I'll have a midlife rebellion.”

Anakin actually laughs. It's a tired, broken sound, like pushing exhaust build up out of an engine. “I'm a bit young for a midlife anything.”

“Obviously. You can be my young, scrappy sidekick who flies my ship.”

“M’not your sidekick.”

Obi-Wan suddenly looks quite serious. “You're right Anakin. You are not. This is a partnership of equals.”

That seals it for Anakin. He crosses to Obi-Wan and crushes the older man into his arms. Obi-Wan returns his embrace just as tightly.

“Come on,” he whispers into Anakin's ear. “Let's get off this horrible planet.”

“Of course. We have to get a jumpstart on your midlife rebellion.”

Obi-Wan guides him onto his ship, and watches as Anakin throws himself at Padme’s feet, begging forgiveness.

She drops in front of him, and holds him tightly, sobbing and yelling at him in equal measure. He nods along. He deserves all of it.

Eventually, they stand. Obi-Wan left at one point, and has returned with bottles of water for them all.

“What are your plans now, Senator?” Obi-Wan asks Padme, his eyes tired and twinkling with a barely restrained mirth.

“I'm going to protect people, just like I always have. My family, first of all. This kid is coming soon.”

Obi-Wan clears his throat. “Kids.”

Anakin turns. “I'm sorry?”

“I'm sorry, Padme. I assumed you knew. You're carrying twins.”

“You knew?” Padme asks.

“I can sense them, in the Force. A boy and a girl.” He turns to Anakin. “I can already feel how much they love you both.”

Anakin and Padme both start laugh. “Twins!” Padme yells. “We’re having twins!”

“Twins!” Anakin yells, nodding.

Padme suddenly turns frightened. “How are we going to keep them safe?”

Obi-Wan walks over to them both, placing his hands on one of each of their shoulders. “You get who you trust. You organize resistance. You make them a safe Galaxy to live in.”

Anakin wraps an arm around the two (four) people he loves most. “And in the short term, they've got quite the protecting detail. With a senator with a knack for aggressive negotiations and two ex-Jedi for their family, I think they'll turn out okay.”

Obi-Wan stiffens. “I would never presume-”

“You aren't, old man,” Anakin assures, pressing his forehead to Obi-Wan’s cheek. “You said it yourself, back there. We're brothers. More, maybe. There's only been two people that I've looked up to in my entire life; my mom, and you.” He pulls back a little, to look Obi-Wan in the eyes. Their eyes mirror each other, both wet. “I want you around as long as you'll have me. I want you to know my kids. I want these two little rascals to grow up knowing you. I know we’ll all make mistakes, but hopefully together we can make less, overall.”

Obi-Wan looks to Padme. “And you?”

“I know that no one else could love our children more than you could, Obi-Wan, if you only let yourself try. And I want you to try.”

“So, what do you say?” Anakin asks. “Do you wanna be Grandpa Kenobi?”

Obi-Wan pulls a disgusted face, and Anakin laughs, feeling lighter than he has in  _years_. “That makes me sound so _old._ I think Obi-Wan will be just fine.”

“Uncle Obi-Wan, then,” Padme decides.

“Dear Uncle Obi!” Anakin wraps his fingers in their fabrics, not wanting to let either go.

“No,” Obi-Wan replies, stern faced.

“You can't expect a baby to say Obi-Wan.” Padme presses herself closer to them both.

“I'm sure any child of yours will be speaking three languages in no time,” Obi-Wan counters, giving Padme a fond smile. “So I think I absolutely can.”

Eventually, they all detach, and Anakin goes to clean his face off and get this ship in the air. He can hear Obi-Wan and Padme already plotting out the demise of the Empire in the other room.

Things aren't anywhere near okay. But they're closer than they were before, and Anakin is hopeful.

And after all, rebellions are built on hope.

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? I love that line of Cassian's (rebellions are built on hope)


End file.
